Visible

I am visible. I sit in the corner of the office, hair louder than my personality typing on my computer trying to look busy. 

 

My boss whispers to someone to say hello and goodbye to me, I hear her. She is concerned, she knows I've got no friends in this area and wants me to not slip away into nothingness, not without some type of movement to make me feel less unwanted. 

 

I am visible, noticed by those who don't see me often. Asked questions, and complained at. People venting and laughing, listening to my tales of woe as well. 

 

I am visible. Stomping and screaming when my old friend's attention gets diverted. I am demanding to be remembered, with loud statements and hooks in their arm. 

 

"You've got no friends in Bennington," my dad says, "but you've got friends up north, so don't worry about the idiots here," the second part of the statement pulls me back from the window glaring and I rejoin the conversation. 

 

The girl who tried so hard to exclude me from the crowd sees me sitting across from her, tears in my eyes and cracks, saying should all go to lunch. Desparate in a way trying to reverse the damage. We aren't friends, but she can't hate me forever. 

 

My family sits around me making sure I will learn to drive, giving me advice about how to make a better life. They hold me up high when things are falling apart, to avoid the damage, and tell me that things will eventually be okay. But to cry if I have too. 

 

My mom tells me stories about my sister. 

 

My mom's boyfriend buys my mom flowers and tells her they're from me. 

 

My sister asks me if she looks like someone from the 2000s. 

 

Then there's the sex. Lots of people want to have sex with me, so at least there's that. 

 

We're all so self involved as humans, I feel invisible. But then we are so cute as humans. My boss tells a girl I've only met 2 times to start saying hi and bye to me to make me feel less invisible, her way of trying to get me to be more open. Elyse tries to involve me more, because she finally saw the damage. My best friend sends me emails when I whine about feeling not so close anymore. Humans are adorable and fascinating creatures, and I'm not invisible. 

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Comments (3)

  1. dincali

    NO you’re not

    May 17, 2017
  2. infinite_ronin

    Even if you actually were, invisibility isn’t an invalidation of your worth.

    May 17, 2017
  3. mermaidjosie

    Being invisible does not mean you are worthless. I hope you have a great day. Remember that you can make a difference in the world. Have a good night.

    May 17, 2017