Nicknames are used to protect the annoying.
Blue eyes: I'm surprised you're not dead yet, I'm only checking on you to make sure you don't become unhinged. I really worry.
Me: Thanks for worrying?
Blue eyes: You're welcome.
Crazy hair: This new job means you'll be closer to your mom! That's awesome!
Me: ....what does that have to do with anything?
Crazy hair: Because...you guys are close.
Me: You know nothing about me and my mom.
Crazy hair: I don't know...
K-dizzle: Wait you got a job in Boston?
Me: Maybe, I'm not sure what I'm doing.
K-dizzle: So you're leaving me?
Me: Not for long, just a year.
Me: I'm sorry.
K-dizzle: I am chaining you to my fucking garage so you can't fucking leave again.
Me: K-dizzle, I'm staying in the area!
K-dizzle: I don't think we should be friends.
K-dizzle: You're staying in the area! Can you show me the route for the driving test next weekend.
Me: (sighs internally) Sure.