Don't drink too much.

My life is messy and sometimes alcohol is to blame. I learned my lesson about drinking to much and having emotional breakdowns or doing something stupid. I've gotten drunk and tried to fight my mom, on more than one occasion. We both agreed to never drink together again and slowly mended ourselves from horrible fights. Then we learned a balance, how to go out together and even have a few drinks without exploding. All seemed okay. For awhile. 

 

Then last night happened. It always seems to happen on nights where my sister has a show something. We left and went to a bar whille her recital was finishing. She had already performed and requested to watch the rest with her friends. My mom, her boyfriend Mick, and I all went to the bar around the corner to have a drink and wait for the go ahead to pick my sister up. She was fine with this, my sister I mean. She just wanted to hang out with her friends and then get picked up so she could go eat some dinner. 

 

I ordered a beer, a half a glass of wine, a shot of something, and a rum and coke. I got to drink my beer, wine and shot but before I knew it my mom swooped in and guzzled down my rum and coke (this was all in an hour) and then requested we go to another bar. Mick and I were hesitant because she was already inebriated (I was buzzed but not as much as her) and finally relented. By now she had 3 rum and cokes in her system. 

 

We went to a second bar and she ordered a shot, I did as well. She also had another rum and coke, and I ordered a white russian. Then she...well...she drank my white russian and her rum and coke before I really had the chance to drink it. Okay, fine. Then she finished her boyfriends. We finally got to Apple Bee's. I ordered a mixed drink and so did she. I actually got to drink some of it but not before long she grabbed it from me when I was eating and drinking my water (hydration when drinking is important) and then she finished that. 

 

So they drop us off at home and then go out again, I'm tired by this point because it's 11 at night and I've had a long day. I end up going to bed. 

 

To skip over some minor details, my mother came home plastered, my sister was upset, and my mom started screaming at me. It got to the point where Mick had to hold her back and I was told to stay in my sister's room.

 

It started because they told my sister they were going out and lied about where or for how long. They figured she would go to bed like I had, and not worry. They were wrong. By the time 1:30 hit and they weren't home she started freaking out. I woke up to my sister inches from my face screaming and shaking me. Violently. I told her to back off, pushed her, but she wouldn't stop screaming at me because mom wasn't home. She just kept screaming and screaming that she thought mom was dead, and she needed to call the cops. She kept getting in my face and no matter how many times I tried to tell her to calm down she would get louder (she is 16, not a little kid) and it got to the point where I started yelling at her. She kept threatening to call the cops, and then she (secretly) called my mom's work, and then she made me call all the bars and kept screaming. 

 

By the time mom came home I was a wreck and angry. I started yelling at her that she can't turn her phone off because she has a kid under the age of 18, and said the same thing to her boyfriend who shamefully agreed later on once they understood exactly why I snapped. 

 

But before anything could be resolved my mother somehow got to the point where she wanted to kill me. I mean, she kept hurling insults at me and started hurling physical things at me as well. I didn't help, I cracked and started yelling back (the human mind can only take so much) and basically the whole night was a mess. 

 

The worst part is that I wasn't even drunk. I was just angry. She was drunk .She did all the fucking drinking and the worst part?? I had to watch them all go insane and crazy. 

 

I have nowhere to go. I am staying at my mom's hesitantly. I've got no way back to Bennington. My dad won't come get me. I am trapped. d

 

I HATE MY LIFE. 

 

I meant that in all it's capitalness. 

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Comments (1)

  1. jaageet

    Capitalness. I like that. There is nothing wrong with the drinking. It’s the messed up lives that’s giving alcohol a bad rap.

    June 05, 2017