If time travel in our dreams are real, and I actually saw you ten years ago, that's pretty damn amazing. If it helped you to have a dream ten years ago of your daughter in the future, and it kept you moving, then life is more amazing than I thought....
"I think this lesbian wedding is a bad idea! My daugter's are going to grow up thinking they have two moms, and I'm just a weird guy that hangs around the house! What if you're pretend wedding is better than our pretend wedding!!!"
"It liberates a woman to know her own body,"
"Because I jump from relationship to relationship without ever catching my breath, which is why my life is such a fucking mess! So, maybe I should be on my own. You focus on Will, I'll focus on me,"
"We have two jobs in this world, the first to learn, the second to cope," "So you learn to cope by getting shit faced?"
"She looked like a rotting apricot, and I screamed 'what the fuck is that?' I mean we were on a lot of drugs, and that fetus looked unholy. Came out perfect though,"
"Tony! When did you come out??" "Your sister, she turned me gay," "Oh..."
"Oh, you're too good for it. I understand, you don't realize God gave you an ATM between your legs."
"Nonsense, you're glowing. And remember what my mother said, a whole's a whole, God doesn't really care who's attached to it." "Sounds like grammy!"
"You didn't know you were pregnant?" "...what?" "Congratsulations! I hope it's good news!" "WHAT?"
"I didn't think this was a thing, you're sober..." "It's always a thing,"
"Who is he?" "He's with me!" "He doesn't belong here." "Why, because he's black?" "Because he looks 35!" "He's an old soul!"
"Wow, best shittiest bar!" "Yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about that..." "Yeah I know, I've never been the best at anything!!"
"Can we fry a shoe string?" "No, let's not fry anything," "Not even the chicken strips?" "Of course the chicken strips!"
"Damn, that's your wife?" "Mhm, smokin hot, huh?" "Those tits real?" "Oh man, none of your fuckin' business!" "Why would you leave that??" "Fella's look, it's so simple in your twenties, because you fall in love and you make bank when...
"Apparently put boobs behind anything, good business idea,"
"Do you believe in God, Frank?" "I believe in a force that think's it's greater than myself,"
This is adult content.
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