facebook and secret statuses

I just realized the guy I am currently "seeing," has no one in his life. He is alone, lonely, no friends to speak of. I mean, I didn't think this through. He told me I am his best and only friend once. I sort of dismissed it (I was a little high, I...

work rant

Okay, I'm pretty upset right now. I'm supposed to be leaving at 2, and my boss knew I had to leave at 2, I am heading out it's my birthday, let me have some fun today? BUT OF COURSE MY BOSS DECIDES ONE FUCKING HOUR BEFORE I AM SUPPOSED TO LEAVE THAT...

Get to know yourself

Why are you hiding so much? I can see it in your eyes when we look at each other. You've worked so hard on this outer persona without even realizing it. You want to be known as a creative, emotional being. But underneath the wild actions and swirling...

Attention to Detail

Hey you,    I'm not great at details. They tend to slip my attention, and I never notice things. I can drive by a lake for a decade and not notice it's there until I turn my head at the right angle and see the large body of water through the...

Conversations with my sister

Amy driving: Oh he's cute! Me: Yeah, he's not bad.  Amy: Fuck me daddy.  Me: Amy, no.  Amy: I should turn the car around and follow him.  Me: Amy, NO.  Amy: If I was ten years older I would totally let him sleep with me.  Me: Well...

conversations with my sister and mom's boyfriend

Me: So is it true the new guy you work with is sort of a pedophile?  Michael: He's 32 and hangs out with 17 year old girls, it's fucking weird.  Me: That's too bad, he was really cute.  Amy: So does that mean I'm his type? Michael and I:...

conversation with my mom

At Planned Parenthood Mom: Sooo, what if you're pregnant? Me: I'm not pregnant.  Mom: (stares at front of room) Me: (follows her gaze, sees cute girl and stares) Mom: Were you just checking her out? Me: Were you? Mom: ...um.......

Conversations in Maine part 6

At Chili's Amy: The waitress is really pretty, I love her eyebrows.  Me: And I'm supposed to be the gay child.  Amy: She's just really pretty.  Mom: You should tell her that.  Amy: Nooo, that would be weird.  Michael: We should hit...

Conversations in Maine part 5

Me: I've never been in a hot tub.  Amy (my sister): Never? Me: No, not ever, I got in once with jeans on to get you though.  Amy: I need you to take a photoshoot of me.  Me: No.  Amy: Loser. 

Conversations in Maine part 4

Me: Mom, were you at the bar? Mom: No I was grabbing a plastic spoon so I could feed the cat her food.  Me: Are you spoon feeding the cat? Mom: No! Only on this trip.  Me: ...okay. 

Conversations in Maine part 3

Michael: Do you want Subway? Me: What? Michael: Because your mom wants lobster.  Me: I'm confused.  Michael: We should find a place with lobster.  Me: That wouldn't be Subway.  Michael: Subway it is.  Me: Wait, what?

conversations in Maine part 2 (my sister)

Me taking a selfie My sister: Um are you taking that for Jack? Me: No, I'm taking it for Zoey.  My sister: Can I get in on it? Me: No.  My sister: So it is for Jack? Me: OH MY GOD GET OVER HERE THEN!

conversations in Maine part 1

Michael: Oh look, sea pigeons.  Me: Those are big doves Michael: They're not seagulls they're sea pigeons.  Me: Like robot doves Michael: (looks at me) Y-you know those are pigeons, right Becky? Me: (looks at the birds) Oh, right.

rantabout ex

I absolutely hate this. I absolutely fucking hate this. I can't shake the feeling of paranoia. The only person home is my sister, and she already saw me get angry when I got the first message on google hang outs. She asked me if I was okay and of...

RANTNTN

My life is to complicated to date right now. Between my mom suddenly forgetting how to be a mom, and my ex and her new girlfriend attempting to drive me insane (and it working) I FUCKING CAN'T DATE RIGHT NOW. Who the fuck would want this? All this...

"why are you single?"

This is a question I get asked a lot, "why are you still single? you're pretty, you've got a job, and ambition!" or even in the sense of, "how the fuck can you stand to be single?"   I usually look off to the side and mumble a generic response,...

Summer Poem part 2 (working title)

Limbs entangled and a cry fills the room, As she sits on top of a boy who used  To break her heart, in a room filled with Knick knacks and toys.  She slides her hand down, down, down.    He's holding her close, His hands like a...